Can you spare some catnip? by Matthew Howard
by: Admin
Total views: 154
Word Count: 615
Oh what is that insufferable noise? It's those dogs once again. Won't they ever learn it takes at least 14 hours of sleep a day to get your proper beauty sleep? That really ruffles my fur. And how dare they go and lick me and sniff my butt when I'm not watching! It takes all day to make this look good and they just go and mess it up! At least everyone knows I am the queen. Oh well at least the food is good around here. The people aren't terrible either. Especially that little girl, even though she always dresses me up and makes me drink tea. I keep telling her that there is nothing in those cups. And those others animals are just comatose. I try to talk to them, but all they do is stare forward and never move. But they are really soft to sleep against. Oh looks to be chow time...So what's on the menu today? hmm...let me see salmon...chicken...trout...tuna...hmm I think I'll have the trout...NO weren't you paying attention I said i wanted the trout, not the tuna!!! HEY That's my food.... dumb mutt will eat anything... Ha Ha that will teach you, just go barf all over the place and get beaten...Now your talking!!! Thank you dear, I did ask for the trout. Your english is getting better. Another couple of months and I'll have you trained perfectly how I want you. You will be able to use the little box and all. No more of that primitive porcelain thing you use now. I mean come on, the dog drinks out of there, disgusting........ Mmm that was a good breakfast. Oh No here comes that little girl with that sweater thing she likes to always put on me. OW...Hey...Stop it!!! I hate it when she does this...This color doesn't look good on me at all. Maybe if i just lie here and not move she will take it off of me.......Ha Ha that works every time.... Oh that feel so good....I love it when you rub right there....PRRRRRRRR......Hey Miaow!!! Not my tummy!!! How indecent of you!!! Ha ha I'm just playing I just set you up to get that thing attached to your body... It's kinda like a paw but you don't have retractable claws..I have no idea how you get along with out them...Speaking of claws I need to stretch them... Scratch.... scratch...scratch...Ow hey why did you hit me.... Oh that chair looks better that way now.... It kinda looks like its coming out at you now... Ha ha...no?? Fine don't bring me down just because you don't have a sense of humor. I am going to go and get that mutt for waking me up this morning.... Oh there you are... He will never know..he he he. On the count of 3 I'm gonna get them...1.....2....3...AHH!!! Ha ha I got you....OWW.....HISS....My tail, My beautiful tail. How dare you bite my beautiful tail. Just because you don't have one...It's gonna take me half the day now to fix this.... lick..... lick.... lick.... Hack.... eww Hair ball.... Finally it's clean... Hey hey put me down!!! I just got my fur the way I like it! Where are you taking me? Oh to bed! I like this place. Plus the dog can't jump up here. WHAT!!! Your putting him up here too? How typical. Fine you sleep over there you mangy mutt. What do you mean be nice?!?! Do you have any idea what something like him could do to my luscious coat? ......ZZZZZZ..... What's so warm and wet??? AHHHH!!! It's that dumb dog again!!!
About the Author
I love pets and think that they make this world a better place. You can see many great pets along with mine here. www.prettypetz.net
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